It matters who your friends are

 

Have you ever thought about how important the friends you choose to have in your life are? Have you ever stopped to think about why your circle matters and how it affects your life? Do you realise that who you surround yourself with and who you let pour into your life matters?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this subject of community. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about friendships and the influences they have on my life.

There are some beautiful pictures of friendships in the Bible. We remember the love that David and Jonathan shared for each other as brothers and friends. (1 Samuel 18:1). We read of Paul and Timothy and Epaphroditus in the book of Philippians. Companions, fellow soldiers, brothers. We are encouraged by the loyalty of Ruth to her mother-in-law, Naomi. (Ruth 1:16,17). We see Jesus, Mary, Martha and Lazarus sharing in fellowship and friendship together (Luke 10:38) and the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego standing together for Christ, despite the threat to their lives. (Daniel 3:23)

There are so many examples of friendship in the Word of God that it’s obvious that God desires for us to have friends, to make friends, to be a friend. We were built for community. We were built for relationship. Not only with God, but with others also.

God gives us friends to encourage and exhort us. They can help to remind us of God’s goodness and help lift us up when we fall. We are also to be as iron sharpening iron.

Proverbs 27:17 KJV - Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

We need friends that are honest with us. Friends that help correct us when we’re wrong. Speaking the truth in love.

It’s so important that we are there for each other. Yes, Christ is the only one that can meet all our emotional needs, but often, we need something or someone tangible to hold on to. Someone physically present that we can cry with or laugh with. God never planned for us to go through life alone.

Thinking of friends and why they matter, makes me think of a passage in scripture that so beautifully portrays the picture of a strong, healthy friendship.

In the Gospel of Mark, we read the amazing story of a group of four men, who had such compassion for their crippled friend, that they went to great lengths to see him healed.

Mark 2:1-5 KJV - And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was in the house. And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door: and he preached the word unto them. And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four. And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay. When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.

Have you ever thought about what it took for those 4 men to physically bring their friend to Jesus?

Not only did they have to carry him on a stretcher, possibly quite a distance, but they had to press through crowds of people and then, climb a flight of stairs, onto a roof, physically pry the rooftop apart with their bare hands and lower him down, with the aid of ropes I’m guessing, muscles sore, backs aching, most probably worn out, all in order for Jesus to see him and have compassion on him and heal him from his disease.

This not only took love for their friend, but it took great faith. They didn’t even have a promise of healing, only a hope.

Mark 2:5 KJV - When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.

Jesus healed a paralyzed man because of his friends faith!

You can’t tell me that your friends don’t matter!

Are your friends pulling you away or drawing you to Christ?

What is your criteria for choosing friends? Is it just someone who makes you laugh? Or maybe someone who will listen to you and respond to that text immediately or drop everything to be with you in your time of need.

Those things are great, and friends like that are priceless, but do they draw you to Christ? Are they continually reminding you of who you are in Christ, do they have a heart for God and for others? Are they happy to talk about the things of the Lord and always seem to bring him up in general conversation? Do they seek to help you and pull you up when they see you straying? Are they an encourager?

We might think that our friendships are random. We just happen to go to the same church. We just happen to move to a certain neighbourhood. But God is in charge of the details in our lives. He controls those little things like putting you in the same church. The same school. The same neighbourhood. He plans these things. There are no coincidences.

He brings people across our paths and causes friendships to blossom, knowing full well what affect it will have in our lives. He knows the strengths and weaknesses of us all and he knows just what we need and when we need it.

True friendship is an awesome display of God’s care for us. He cares enough to allow people to come into our lives that will bless us and encourage us and love us. He gives us a support system that is physically present. He even sends those somewhat ‘prickly’ friends that seem to be there to call us out and hold us accountable. Those are necessary too.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 KJV - Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Proverbs 27:9 KJV - Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.

We really do need each other. Outside of Jesus, relationships are the greatest gifts we have on earth and also some of the most difficult parts of life.

Built within each and every one of us, is a pattern for experiencing an intimate relationship with God and then expressing that love to each other.

Community is important. And finding your people and fellowshipping with them is important. It’s important to God, and it should be important to you!

We need people and we need community. We need a network of regular people who are present in our daily lives. People who care and are concerned for our spiritual well-being. People who want to have deep conversations about the Word of God and what God is doing in their lives. People who are not content just to meet up once a week to listen to a sermon and sing a few songs.

We need invested friends. We need to surround ourselves with people who have the potential to make us better. People who will hold us accountable. People who are devoted to growing in their spiritual walk and are unashamed of the gospel.

And we need to be that friend to others.

Your circle really does matter. Will it be your friends faith that is what brings about your healing?

Sometimes, our faith is so weak, that we have to borrow some off a friend. We borrow strength, we stand stronger because we know our friend is strong and is there cheering us on, encouraging us to keep in the race, persevere, strive for the prize.

For many years, I didn’t have close friends, simply because I didn’t think I needed them. I was content and didn’t see the importance in building strong friendships. But all that changed when I went through one of the hardest times in my life and I looked around, and the support I so badly needed, was sadly lacking. Because of my failing to cultivate relationships with healthy friends. Yes, there was my very patient husband and family, but what I also needed was a circle of friends that would bring me to Jesus. I needed their faith and their love and their support.

Please, learn from my experience, and don’t neglect building friendships with the people in your lives that God sends your way. I have since made friends with the most unlikely people. People I thought I had nothing in common with. People I thought I would never share my heart with and laugh and cry with. You really never know until you try.

Yes, you will have heartache and there will be bumps along the road. But had it not been for the paralysed man’s friends, he might never have been healed and had his sins forgiven.

With God’s help, we can weather the storms of life and our circle of friends can be right there alongside us, as a reminder of God’s love and goodness.

If we choose to surround ourselves with the wrong friends, we will be pulled down and away from God. We have to be discerning and ask God for wisdom, even to the point of whether or not to pursue a friendship beyond the casual.

Friends matter.

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

 

 

Proverbs 18:24 KJV - A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.