What If………..If Only………

I recently read a book through a second time, (“Calm my Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow) and I was reminded of a couple of articles I had written over 2 years ago on the subject of the “if” diseases. In light of some recent events and after doing some more study, I felt that the Lord would have me teach on this for our monthly Ladies Bible Study.

The 2 diseases are the ‘What If’ disease and the ‘If Only’ disease. Although theses 2 diseases are different, they are also similar in that they both display an absence of faith. We don’t really catch them, we invite them in by the choices we make and the things we let our minds dwell on. We open the door to them as questions arise in our minds and hearts.

The What If disease looks to the future and worries and fears what God might allow.

The If Only disease looks to the past and grumbles about what God has given.

What If leads to anxiety and fear.

If Only leads to anger and discontentment.

Let’s look at the What If disease first.

When the ‘what ifs’ come into our lives, we find ourselves continually looking forward and worrying over what the future may hold. We fret over what God may allow into our lives. We ask ourselves questions like, “What if God doesn't answer in time? What If God doesn't answer like I want Him to? What If something happens to my family? Or my job? Or my bank balance? Or my car?

What If?  What If?   What If?

Look at this passage in Jeremiah and see what the Lord has to say about our What Ifs.

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man,

and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.

For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh;

but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness,

in a salt land and not inhabited.

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD,

and whose hope the LORD is.

For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters,

and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh,

but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought,

neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

 

In these verses, the Lord says that a man is cursed that trusteth in himself. When the What Ifs come into our lives, we begin to trust in ourselves. And when we begin to do that, we are putting our confidence in the wisdom and power of man, instead of God who gives all wisdom and power and who wants and deserves our trust and our faith and our worship.

The verses go on to say that the cursed man makes 'flesh his arm'. We know that often in the Bible the arm is a symbol of strength.

Psalms 89:10 ….thou hast scattered thine enemies with thy strong arm.

Deut 11:2 …..his mighty hand, and his stretched out arm

Here in this context the arm has the idea of strength, power and might. So, to make our flesh our strength is foolish as we know that our flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation:

the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Our flesh is likened to mankind, to the human nature with its frailties, morally or physically. Physically, a piece of flesh without bones or sinew is weak.

So, to put your trust in something that is weak and feeble, and not to trust God who is mighty and powerful, is foolishness and God curses that man.

The verse also says that the cursed man's heart departs from the Lord. He turns aside from the Lord. He may draw nigh to God with his mouth and say that his hope is in the Lord, but in his heart, he is not trusting the Lord and he is departing from God’s leading and not heeding His counsel.

Often when the What Ifs come into our lives, we try to control, strategize, manipulate and 'help' God. Waiting on Him is too hard. It's too slow. So, we handle the uncertainty of the What Ifs by using control tactics. We think that we need to do something as if God can’t handle the situation and somehow by us stepping in, we might change the outcome. How foolish it is to think that we can control the Almighty God!

The Bible tells us that if we trust in our own strength, we shall be like the heath in the desert. Stripped. Destitute. Barren. A wasteland. We will inhabit the 'parched places' in a 'salt land'. The heath in this passage refers to a stunted, gnarled tree that has its shallow roots in the salted earth.

In our travels around Australia, we came across many salt lakes. As beautiful as they were, they were barren wastelands. Hot, dry and uninhabited. Not the kind of place you'd want to live. And definitely not somewhere to grow deep rooted trees.

Contrast this cursed man with the blessed man. What a difference! This is a man who trusts. He has hope and confidence in the Lord. He is secure and knows his safety is in God's hands. He has his roots deep in the living water. He is planted by the water.

 

When our eyes are focused on God in times of drought, we look to Him and our leaf stays green and we bear fruit even when the heat cometh. I love how the verse tells us that we don't even see when the heat cometh. We're not fearful, concerned or anxious, because our hope is in the Lord. Our roots go down into the life-giving water and we don’t even notice the heat bearing down upon us as we keep our eyes on Him. We look to the Lord to sustain us. We don't have to fear the drought.

When the What Ifs threaten to derail us, we need to be reminded of God’s goodness and mercy. We have many promises in the Bible to cling to.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed;

for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee;

yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Psalm 112:7

He shall not be afraid of evil tidings:

his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.

I love the fact that our hearts can be 'fixed'. The meaning here is firm, stable, established, secure, steadfast, settled. Trusting in the Lord.

If our hearts are fixed, we can be at peace. Do you trust in God so wholeheartedly that you believe He is with you in your anxiety, even though you don't see any evidence of His presence and power?

Our What Ifs will drive us to God and faith, or they'll drive us to worry and dependence on self. God brings peace. Worry only brings misery. Our What Ifs will drive us either closer to God or they will drive us away from him, as we try and take control.

When we try and 'help' God out, it only leads to anxiety and fearfulness. But, if our eyes are focused on God, our leaf will be green and fruit will be produced, God's Word promises this.

Psalm 1:3

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,

that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither;

and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

It's so easy to try and take things into our own hands when we face the What Ifs. If we hope in God and put our total trust in Him, then we will not fear. We will be content and not anxious. God's Word tells us that we can still bear fruit in the midst of our trials. Our times of drought can be times of fruitfulness. It sounds contradictory doesn't it?

How can we possibly bear fruit when the heat beats down upon us and we feel our strength failing? By trusting in the Lord, that's how. By keeping our hope in the Lord and not departing from Him. By holding to His promises and by letting Him have our What Ifs. By refusing to let our What Ifs stand in the way of His perfect will. By giving all our cares and worries to Him.

Psalm 55:22

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee:

he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Rest in His promises. Let God carry you and your burdens. Don't fall victim to the What If disease. God is bigger than all the 'ifs' in our lives. Open your heart to Him and let him take the 'What ifs' and replace them with His peace.

Make it a point to turn your What ifs into Even ifs!

Even if something happens, I’ll trust you. You are in control, no matter what happens. Even if you choose to allow something into my life, that I don’t see as ‘good’, even if you do, Lord, I will trust you. Even if it doesn’t turn out like I planned, I’ll trust you.

 

If Only Disease

 

This disease is similar in that it also displays a lack of faith.

The What If disease looks to the future and worries and fears what God might allow.

The If Only disease looks to the past and grumbles about what God has given.

 

The What Ifs lead to anxiety and fear and the If Onlys lead to anger and discontentment.

 

“If Only such and such had not happened, If Only I had not arrived at that time, If Only I had not gotten sick, If Only I had not moved here”. And the list goes on. And on. And on.

When we dwell on the If Onlys in our lives, we neglect to focus on God and His eternal purpose. We don't seem to remember that God has a plan and a path for us and that His will is perfect and His way is right. We begin to harbour anger in our hearts toward God.

We are so obsessed with what could have been, and what we think should have been, that we are blinded to the One who orchestrated everything just like it was, for His own purpose.

We begin to chant our If Onlys almost like a mantra, somehow thinking that it will change things after they've already happened.

There are a few examples in scripture of people with the If Only disease.

One that comes to mind is the story of Mary and Martha after their brother Lazarus had died.

John 11:1-6

Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. (It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.) Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick. When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus. When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.

Firstly, we see that the Lord Jesus knew of Lazarus' sickness, and yet he stayed in the same place for 2 days. He didn't go straight away.

 

John 11:14-15

Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless let us go unto him.

John 11:17

Then when Jesus came, he found that he had lain in the grave four days already.

 

In these verses we read that Lazarus is dead. And when Jesus finally comes to Bethany, Lazarus has been dead four days already.

 

John 11:20-21

Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him: but Mary sat still in the house. Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

John 11:32

Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

And here is where we come to the If Onlys. Notice that both Mary and Martha have the If Only disease. “Lord, IF thou hadst been here.....”

God has all power and all knowledge and yet, he allowed Lazarus to die. He could have gone sooner. He could have done things differently, but He chose not to. We read of His reason in verses 4 and 15. The Lord Jesus chose not to come sooner in order that He would be glorified and also that the faith of the disciples would increase and that they might believe.

 

So, both Mary and Martha struggled with the If Onlys in their lives. I know if I was in their position, I would probably have said the same thing. If Only, Lord. Why? They knew of God's power and yet He hadn't come. He had let their beloved brother die. But not out of a lack of love. We see in verse 5 that He loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus.

The workings of the Lord are often a mystery to us and we struggle to answer the questions that arise in our hearts. But it is not ours to question. It's not right for us to grumble and complain and wish God had done things differently.

We have to remember that God sees the big picture, and while we’re busy looking back, and moaning and mumbling our If Onlys, He sees way into the future.

As we read further down in the passage, we see how the Lord Jesus dealt with the ladies' If Onlys.

 

John 11:40

Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that,

if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?

 

He met their 'If' with His own 'If'. “If thou wouldest believe”. They said, 'If Only you had been here', and He responded with, 'If Only you would have believed'.

How many of our Ifs are because of unbelief? We doubt God's ability to handle the situation and we look back and think that He was incapable of dealing with it properly. We hinder ourselves spiritually by going back over the If Onlys and not focusing on what God has in store for us.  We are busy looking back and not forward.

When we have the If Only disease, we dwell on what we don't have instead of being grateful for what we DO have. We become discontent. We lose our perspective.

Another passage in the Bible that exemplifies the If Only disease is the murmuring of the Israelites. We read in the book of Numbers an attitude of discontentment.

Numbers 20:1-5

Then came the children of Israel, even the whole congregation, into the desert of Zin in the first month: and the people abode in Kadesh; and Miriam died there, and was buried there. And there was no water for the congregation: and they gathered themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. And the people chode with Moses, and spake, saying, Would God that we had died when our brethren died before the LORD! And why have ye brought up the congregation of the LORD into this wilderness, that we and our cattle should die there? And wherefore have ye made us to come up out of Egypt, to bring us in unto this evil place? it is no place of seed, or of figs, or of vines, or of pomegranates; neither is there any water to drink.

 

God had miraculously brought the children of Israel out of slavery in Egypt and promised them a new and wonderful home, and yet here we find them longing for captivity.

They had the dreaded If Only disease.

Firstly, in verse 3, they wished they had died with their brethren, then in verse 5 they  complained that there were no seeds or figs or pomegranates, and we read in other places that they wished for garlic and leeks too! Their 'food' issues weren't really the issue here.

Numbers 20:2

And there was no water for the congregation: and they gathered themselves together against Moses and against Aaron.

Their original complaint was because there was no water. But as you read down through the passage you see that they started to complain about anything and everything they missed about Egypt, and then at the end, they remembered the water! “Oh yeah, and we're out of water too.”  The actual problem was the lack of water, but they became so distracted by the other negatives, that their negatives multiplied, and the original problem was all but forgotten. Crowded out by all the other insignificant issues.

The Israelites neglected to remember all that God had done in delivering them. The plagues. The crossing of the Red Sea. The defeating of their numerous enemies.

Our faith and trust is serious to God. God takes our lack of trust seriously.

Look what happened to Moses and Aaron.

 

Numbers 20:12

And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.

They were banished from setting foot in the promised land for not trusting God enough and for not obeying His command. Wow, and we think we have problems!

Peace comes from acceptance. Acceptance of God's perfect will. Accepting the way God orders our lives. Accepting the trials and not resisting the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. When the If Only disease takes over and threatens to derail us, we need to stop and remember. Yes, I know it sounds like I’m contradicting myself. It’s not a bad thing to look back, but when you look back, don’t let if be to whine and complain. Focus on all God has done for you. Remember his blessings. Remember what He's brought you through.

If you don't think you have anything big to remember, like the Israelites had, then stop and remember your salvation. Your deliverance from Hell! There is no better 'positive' to focus on then your eternal salvation and your rescue from eternal damnation!

When we face the Ifs in our lives, we need to remember God's goodness, it will bring an end to our pity party.

 

How can you be miserable when you're thinking about all God has done for you! Make a physical list and write it down. Count your many blessings, as the song says. Add to that list. Read it daily.

Thank God for it. Spend time praising Him for all He's done.

There's a lot of comfort and encouragement in the Psalms, way too many to list here, but I love these few verses as a reminder on what to remember.

 

Psalms 77:11-15

I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings. Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God? Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people. Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.Wonders! Works! Doings! Strength! Redemption!

 

Don't let the If Onlys  and the What Ifs hold you back from serving the Lord.

Banish the What Ifs and the If Onlys from your life.

 

Bring your problems to the problem solver and leave them there!

Don't dwell on the past. Don't worry over the future.

Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there.

 

Elisabeth Elliot once said:

“Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past,

nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future,

but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but His”

That’s right! Lying quiet under His hand. Trusting. Resting. Not fretting over what may come into your life. Not complaining over what God has already allowed in your life.

Casting fear and anxiety aside. Throwing your burdens down at His feet.

1 Peter 5:7

 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.