Sometimes love looks like chaos

(just some thoughts from the heart of a mother and grandmother - aka me)

 

I stare at the mounting pile of dirty dishes in the sink and on the adjacent countertop. The kitchen bench is strewn with cups, a half-eaten piece of toast, a box of tissues, a cookie rack with chocolate-chip biscuits, fresh from the oven. My gaze turns toward the toys scattered all over the floor, puzzle pieces, matchbox cars, blocks and couch cushions, tiny prickles from the grass outside have stuck fast to the rug on the floor. As I walk out onto the verandah, I step carefully over a couple of little plastic tricycles, a pile of random, mismatched shoes, pieces of coloured chalk laying on top of some creative artwork, a plastic cup in a puddle of water, a milk crate, a broom, a laundry basket, some pegs.

What a mess! Or is it?

It may look like chaos, it may not be the most peaceful scene, but you know what? It’s a loved mess. And THAT makes ALL the difference!

Love doesn’t always look like peace. Sometimes it looks like laundry. Sometimes it looks like dirty dishes. Sometimes it looks like noise.

We often see mess as just something to fix. But what if we saw it as an evidence of love?

What if instead of seeing chaos we saw it as a house that’s lived in where memories were made, where creativity was explored and where little lives were molded and skills were taught?

Love isn’t in the perfect. It’s in the continual showing up. It’s in the day to day sacrificing of what I want over what others need. It involves things getting a little messy.

Now I’ll be the first to say how much I love tidiness. I love an ordered home. I love organized cupboards and a tidy pantry. I love everything to have its place but there are times when it’s okay to just let it go.

The mess will be there tomorrow, but childhood waits for no one. Time rushes on, newborns become toddlers and toddlers become teens and before long adulthood is reached and the season is over.

I know this all too well, being the mother of five daughters and a grandmother of 10!

Just when you think the days of endless tidying and picking up after little ones is gone, along come precious little lives in the form of grandchildren!

And if you are blessed to be in my position, you now have another opportunity to pour into a new generation and make new memories that will live on well after you’re gone.

I was reminded of this this past weekend. We were blessed to have not only my parents here visiting but also all of our grandchildren (and their parents) and some friends as well. As all 28 of us sat scattered around the fire pit in the front yard, camp chairs strewn about, the table laden with food, picnic blankets and a cot for little ones, marshmallows roasting over the fire, toys and shoes littering the verandah and dishes in the sink, I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for God’s goodness to us.

Yes, there was mess. But it was beautiful!

If you are reading this and you are childless or empty nesters with no grandchildren as yet, there is still something I want to say to you.

We, as followers of Christ, are to be ambassadors and kingdom builders. And what better way than to show hospitality and love to those around us.

I will warn you though, that hospitality comes at a price. As one of my favourite authors puts it:

 “Living a life of welcome opening both your heart and your home means your stuff gets used. And reused. Over and over again. Your items get nicked and scratched your carpet and rugs and linens get stained. While this doesn't mean we don't try to make our surroundings pleasant, it does mean we learn to accept some degree of imperfection. Well used items often mean that we have loved well.” Karen Ehman

Look at what the Bible says on this subject.

1 Peter 4:8-10 KJV - And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

Isn’t it interesting that we are told to use hospitality without grudging. That means without murmuring or muttering or grumbling!

This means we’re to do it cheerfully. Without complaining!

So, today, as you look around you at the space you live in, think about this? Is it lived in? Are memories made there? Are your dishes used and your couches maybe a little worn because of the hospitality you show and the welcoming atmosphere that radiates from your home?

Do you see the mess as a loved mess? Do you see it as an evidence of your love?

As you stoop down to pick up yet another toy or discarded item of clothing, think about the hands that have handled it and the heart of that little one. As you wash yet another coffee cup after your guests leave, think about the influence you have in that person’s life. Did you speak truth over them? Did you show them the love of Christ? Or were you more concerned about the mess they made?

It often makes me think of the story of Mary and Martha. (Luke 10) Now I don’t want to take this passage out of context or make application where it isn’t, but I think sometimes we run about, frazzled with a Martha spirit when what we need is Mary’s heart. Content to just sit and listen and rest.

Sometimes God is calling you to just enjoy the mess and the chaos and overlook the crumbs in order to invest in the lives of others.

Let’s start seeing our messes as loved messes. It’s all about how we look at it.

God looks at the mess we leave behind and the mistakes we make, and he still calls us his precious, loved child. He still loves us unconditionally. He sees our faults, he sees our flaws and yet when he looks at us, he sees a loved mess.

Sometimes love looks like chaos and that’s okay.

Give yourself a break mama. There’ll be time to tidy up at the end of the day……Or the next day