Find your people and

 start doing life together!

 

Okay, so I’m back, with possibly the last part of my lesson, but I’m not making any promises.

In the last couple of posts, we talked about the ‘whys’ of community and we dealt with the ‘what’, so we now come to the ‘how’.

It would be wrong of me to explain what it is and why it’s so important and not give you some practical ways of living it out and tips on how to build this thing I’m so passionate about.

Let me begin by quoting from a book by Jennie Allen:

“There are scientific studies that show how many relationships we can manage and how we socially interact with people. Basically, we can handle a network of only about 150 people. Think of your Christmas list. People you talk to at least once or twice a year. Inside that 150 are layers of friendships that deepen with how much time you spend with the person and the degree of your relationship with them. Research suggests that we can handle only 50 people in what we call our acquaintances. Within those 50 people there are 15 people in our village and within our village we have a capacity to make five of them our BFF's. Only five! How much time you spend face to face with a person is what determines where they fit in your 150. And what pushes people deeper into our inner circles of friends? The amount of time we spend with them. TIME.”

Can I tell you something? YOU CAN’T HAVE WHAT YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO BECOME.

If you want friends, you have to become one. (Proverbs 18:24a)

If you want Godly community, you have to be willing to put the work in.

In Jennie’s book, she shows a graphic of 4 circles, all set within each other. At the centre of this is God. Working out of this into the next circle is the inner circle, then onto the village (community) circle and then a circle labelled acquaintances.

Take some time to think right now about the circle called acquaintances. This is a very large circle. There may be 50 or more people in this circle. It is made up of people from all walks of life. You may know only their first name. Maybe it’s the lady at the post office or the fruit and vege market or maybe your accountant, a business owner or the cashier at your local supermarket. You don’t have any real connection and only ever make small talk with them.

Then we come to the next circle, moving closer to the centre. The village circle, or what I like to call, our community. This is a medium sized group and there may be only 10 to 30 in this group. This is a very diverse group of consistent, interconnected people. Our fellow believers at our local church, our childrens’ friends’ parents, Sunday school teachers, pastors, Bible study leaders, ladies in your coffee get togethers etc.

With this number of people, we don’t have time to do life with them in any sort of meaningful way, but they are still very important and necessary. They can pray for you, help you when you’re in need, talk about spiritual matters as you learn together and serve together in ministry. They are a very vital part of what we need in our lives. See my last post - https://learnliveloveshare.blogspot.com/2025/05/were-all-in-this-together-in-my-last.html

This group forms the support system that we so desperately need in difficult situations and the hard times we face. Without it, we will not only experience loneliness, but we will miss out on the much-needed prayer and love it brings.

It is also the place where we serve God together in evangelism through our local churches.

Next, we move on to the inner circle. This is a very small circle. It may be only 3 or 4 people. But these are the people you keep in touch with day by day. They know you and your heart. You can be vulnerable with them and share with them more than what you would share with your village or church community. You can laugh and cry with them.

They are determined to chase after God. They are faithful and faith filled.

You may have a few and they may not even know each other. And they’re often very different. They could be different ages or personalities. But one thing they have in common is that they are available. They are transparent. They will fight for you, alongside you and fight with you against sin. They are present. Physically and emotionally. And they are the ones you spend the most time with, outside of your family.

So, who do you have in your inner circle? Is their faith strong like the sick man’s friends who tore through a roof in order to see him healed?

Did you know that Jesus had an inner circle? Peter, James and John. The Bible does not say why Jesus chose Peter, James, and John as His inner circle. Possibly he was making a special effort to prepare these three for the leadership roles they would later occupy in the church.

These three men were present with Jesus during special events, being eyewitnesses of Jesus’ transfiguration (Mark 9), witnessing Jesus raise Jairus’s daughter from the dead (Luke 8), and they accompanied Him while He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26). These three witnessed Jesus’ greatest moments of glory and also some of His darkest trials. They were His closest friends.

If Jesus needed an inner circle, how much more do we?

What is it that sets these levels of community and friendship apart? TIME. It comes down to how much time you spend with them.

We can’t skip the village/church community level and hope to magically find our people that will form our inner circle if we are not working on building community with our fellow believers.

So, in our lonely world, how do we rediscover the joy of deep connection?

One of the best ways is HOSPITALITY.

1 Peter 4:8-10 KJV - And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

The believers in Acts met daily for prayer and shared meals. Daily is probably unrealistic to us, but the point is they spent time in each other’s homes. They were hospitable people.

Hospitality defined means: the act, practice or quality of receiving and entertaining strangers or guests in a friendly and generous way.

Notice in this verse in 1 Peter it says without grudging? Some translations will say without grumbling or murmuring. The Greek word literally translates to murmuring or muttering.

So, we’re not supposed to complain about being hospitable. We’re supposed to do it cheerfully.

But what if your house isn’t perfect? What if you’re not the best cook? IT DOESN’T MATTER! Your house doesn’t have to be perfect and neither does the food. Be friendly. Be generous. Have an attitude of love and let God’s light shine by doing it cheerfully.

Recently, we had a family over for dinner and I was frustrated that something I had made didn’t turn out as planned. I was told nicely by our guests, “We didn’t come for the food, we came for the fellowship”. A good reminder.

Read this quote from another favourite author of mine: “Living a life of welcome opening both your heart and your home means your stuff gets used. And reused. Over and over again. Your items get nicked and scratched your carpet and rugs and linens get stained. While this doesn't mean we don't try to make our surroundings pleasant, it does mean we learn to accept some degree of imperfection. Well used items often mean that we have loved well.” K.Ehman

Are you loving well? Does it show?

Okay, so let’s wrap this up with 7 points on how to build your community. Of course, this list is not exhaustive and there is much to be said and so much more to be added, but I pray that this will help get you started on the path to reconnection and community building.

1.        Notice who is already right in front of you: Look at who is in your church, your Bible study, your gym class, your neighbourhood or school. Could it be there are close friendships waiting there? Who is literally right in front of you?

Start viewing acquaintances as friends in the making. View them as potential friends. Look around at your church community. Who has God put in your life, here and now and right under your nose, that you haven’t connected with yet?

2.        Put yourself out there: Plan to go first. Don’t wait for someone else to initiate. Connection takes stepping out again and again. Sometimes you get tired of no one reciprocating. This may sound harsh, but here it is. GET OVER IT!

You will never have friends, and you will never build community if you’re not willing to consistently initiate. Be the one who reaches out. Get over the awkwardness of putting yourself out there. Jesus was an incredible initiator. He noticed people. He stopped for conversation. He even invited himself over for dinner and stated that he would abide (or dwell or stay) at a tax collectors house. (Luke 19)

3.        Start great conversations: Don’t be satisfied with only shallow, small talk. Yes, it’s important, it is the foundation for deeper conversations. But to have deeper conversations, you have to not only learn to listen but also learn the art of asking more intentional questions. Don’t be afraid to go deeper.

When someone shares something hard with you, sit with them and their feelings for a bit and don’t try and fix anything. Ask what it is they need right now. Share the real stuff. If you can’t go deep with someone, don’t get discouraged. Don’t quit. Give them space but keep trying with others until you find your people. Not everyone is ready for deep friendship.

4.        Talk about Jesus: This is so important. When we put Jesus at the centre of our relationships and when we talk about Jesus and how he is moving in our lives, our friendships are being built on something that lasts. When we see God in others, we see his character revealed and he becomes more beautiful to us.

Our conversations shouldn’t be void of Jesus. If we are both determined to chase after God, we won’t have time for pettiness and gossip and competition because we will be focused on becoming more like him and our friendships will be better for it. We need to consistently be sharing things we are learning from his Word.

5.        Be quick to forgive: (see this post -  https://learnliveloveshare.blogspot.com/2025/04/me.html) 

      We are all flawed, and we all hurt one another. We let one another down. We have disagreements. Accepting this fact should cause you to have grace for every other person who comes into your life. We have to show love and forgiveness. Keep short accounts. Don’t let anything fester and turn into bitterness.

6.        Do fun stuff together: We don’t just have to connect in a Bible study setting or church setting. Do a fun activity together. Find something in common to do that will help you let your hair down and laugh together. Maybe a trivia night. Bowling. Games night. It’s a great way to get to know people and who they really are.

Sometimes Christians are labelled as ‘boring’ because for some, they see having fun as a sin, thinking that we need to appear super spiritual at all times. But King Solomon lets us know that there is a time to laugh and it’s okay (Ecclesiastes 3:4)

7.        Be okay with only a few: It’s impossible to invest in dozens of deep, intentional relationships. We don’t have that capacity. We need to focus on the few. And yes, these few will change over the years as the seasons change. Remember that deep friendships take time and as life changes and distance separates us, so too does our closeness. This is not because of a lack of love, often it is because God is encouraging you to step up and pour into someone else’s life for a season.

Every one of us have people in our lives that need us and people we need. Are we intentionally spending time in both of those categories? It is costly to love people. It’s easier to just stay casual. Love takes risks. Love takes forgiveness and grace. Love takes effort, time and commitment. And because this is the cost of deep relationship, we don’t have the capacity and space to go deep with everyone. We have to become intentional with a few. (inner circle) And that’s okay. We don’t all have to be besties. But we do need to show love and compassion to all.

Let me close with this. Be careful not to isolate yourself from the very people God wants to use to help you grow. Look for your people in unexpected places. Life stage doesn’t matter. Age doesn’t matter. Find the people who are following hard after Jesus and then go and grow with them. Find a shared purpose. Working and serving together creates life-giving bonds.

Cultivating friendships and deepening relationships in our lives is not a luxury, IT’S A NECESSITY!

Thinking you can go through life and its struggles without close friends and community to hold you steady is like thinking you can go into battle without your armour!

Just because the ache of loneliness is real and so widespread in our society, doesn’t mean it has to be your reality. You have the power to flip the script and make meaningful connections. You were created for community. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

Will you allow yourself to need others and will you allow them to need you?

 

It’s your choice.

CHOOSE WISELY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’re all in this together

 

In my last blog post, https://learnliveloveshare.blogspot.com/2025/05/yes-its-hard.html we looked briefly at what community is all about and we touched on why it’s important to be building it in our lives. There is so much more to this subject that it was hard putting it into an hour-long lesson along with the extra things to read that I was able to give out at our recent conference.

In this post, I want to go a little deeper into the ‘why’. The why of community.

If you remember reading about the giant redwood trees, you’ll remember how important it is for them to grow in ‘tribes’ or communities. They give each other support and strength and nourishment through their interconnected root systems. And so should we.

We need each other!

Let me give you 4 points on why Godly Christian community is so important.

1.        Community is a gift from God

So why do we need community? Because God has given it to us as a gift and we need to accept his gift. God doesn’t choose the gifts he gives, haphazardly and without thought. No. Each gift is an intentional act of love.

The first community in the Bible was found in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. (Genesis 2:18). Not only did God give Adam a helpmeet and companion, but he also walked with them in the garden. (Genesis 3:8)

God knew the importance of having another person to lean on in life. He knew the value of community. Sadly, through sin, they broke the fellowship they had with God and often it is our sin and selfishness that breaks the fellowship we have with other believers.

2.        Community is vital for Christian growth

a.        Godly community challenges you to be more like Jesus

In the book of Hebrews, we find an interesting verse. This verse has all too often been taken out of context, but we won’t go into all that in this lesson.

Hebrews 10:24-25 KJV - And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

In this verse, we are told to encourage each other to do good. We are to encourage each other to pursue God. We are to provoke each other to love. As we do life together, we help to refine each other. (Proverbs 27:17)

We can show Christ’s love to each other and challenge each other to reflect the heart of Jesus. As we grow in our Christian walk, we help to spur others into action as they see how God works in our lives.

a.        Godly community strengthens your relationship with God

As you encourage each other in the faith and learn and study together, you deepen your relationship with God because you encourage each other to be in the Word, to be in church, to serve the Lord, to be in fellowship, to pray for one another etc.

You strengthen your relationship with God as you challenge each other to go deeper and develop a closer walk with him.

3.        Community is vital for our well-being

a.        Godly community is a place where we can get our physical needs met.

Did you know that true, authentic, healthy, Godly community should be a place where you meet others physical needs? Take a look at this passage in Acts.

Acts 2:41-47 KJV - Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls. And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And fear came upon every soul: and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.

The church in Acts was a healthy, authentic community. We have to be humble enough to ask for help when it’s needed and we have to be willing to give help. Maybe it’s a meal that’s needed. Maybe it’s help moving house. Or cleaning. Or a financial gift. The body of Christ should support and love each other in practical ways.

The Christians in Acts were intentional in their serving of others.

b.       Community helps carry you emotionally

We know that no one except God can meet all of our emotional needs, but we can help meet some.

Galatians 6:2 KJV - Bear ye one another's burdens, (heaviness; weight; trouble) and so fulfil the law of Christ.

We are to support each other in the hard times. We have to be real with each other, in order to know how to help. If you don’t share with others some of what you are carrying, they will have no idea how to help.

Sometimes when we are weak, we have to borrow some strength from a friend. Then we can stand stronger. If we know someone is cheering us on, it helps us to keep going. We have to be there for each other. We need to be able to cry together. Laugh together. Pray together. Worship together.

c.       Community meets our need for love

Everyone needs love. God gave us the gift of each other to meet the earthly need for love. God’s love is amazing and unconditional and can’t be compared, but having a physical, tangible person who loves you, here on earth, is a great comfort especially when times are hard.

1.        Community is vital for our mission

Godly community is so important for the mission we are called to, of loving God, loving others and being a light that brings others into his family through faith in him. See John 13:34,35 – Others need to see our love. As you live and serve within a Godly community, it will help to open your eyes to the needs of others.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 KJV - Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

We are called to meet the needs of others. When we’re part of a healthy community, we are called to strengthen those that are weak and encourage those that are discouraged. Being part of a community of believers calls us out of our self-centeredness by giving us the responsibility to look outward.

When we take the focus off ourselves and look around, we will see the needs of others and our love for God should spur us on to passing that on through love and service.

There are many ‘one anothers’ in scripture. Take some time to study them. You’ll find exhortations to love one another; encourage one another; provoke one another (in a good way); forgive one another; be at peace with one another; be kind to one another and the list goes on.

We can’t have an effective ministry without unity, and we can’t be effective without a healthy, Godly community. If our mission here on earth is to spread God’s Word and build his Kingdom, then we have to get along. We can’t be busy fighting amongst ourselves, or we’ll neglect our mission.

Building a loving, healthy, life-giving community is vital to spreading the gospel.

So, knowing all this, how in the world do we do it? How do we find our people and build our community? It won’t happen without some work. It takes love and intentionality. But, how??

In my next post I hope to give you some practical tips on finding your people and building your community. Hint: Time plays a key role.

God bless xx

 

 

 

 

Yes, it’s hard. But it’s worth it!

 

Have you ever seen a Redwood tree? Or a photo of one? What a majestic sight they are! They are some of the largest and tallest trees in the world. Their seeds are as small as a tomato seed and yet they can grow to around 100metres tall. That’s as high as a 35-story skyscraper!

They can have a lifespan of over 2000 years, and their diameters can reach up to 8metres across!

But interestingly, they only have a very shallow root system, reaching only 5 or 6ft deep.

So how are they able to live so long and grow so tall without toppling? How have they survived earthquakes, landslides, floods, strong winds, and other trees falling against them?

Connection, that’s how.

They intertwine with the roots of other redwoods for added stability. Their roots can extend up to 30metres away from the trunk of the tree. So, they reach out, not down.

When we look at a giant Redwood, all we see is the height and size of the tree but there is an intricate network of intertwined roots underneath.

This intertwining creates a strong support system that helps the trees withstand powerful winds and storms. These roots form a complex web beneath the forest floor.

The process of root intertwining, or “root grafting,” goes beyond just providing structural support. Through their interconnected root systems, neighbouring trees share essential resources like water and nutrients.

This mutual sharing of resources ensures the growth and survival of every tree in the redwood forest. If a neighbouring tree is struggling or injured, the surrounding trees can provide extra support and nourishment through root grafting. It’s like a natural safety net that helps maintain the health of the entire forest ecosystem.

When one tree has an abundance of resources, it can share them with its neighbours that may be in need.

So, redwoods do not survive alone…EVER. They form “tribes” or communities. Sometimes they grow so close to each other that they merge at the base into one tree. Each tree supports and protects the other.

What does this remind you of?

What a great picture of our need for one another in the Body of Christ.

WE NEED EACH OTHER!  

 

Well, what a blessed few days I have just had! Last week, I was blessed to attend and speak at a Ladies Conference where women from Katherine and Darwin gathered to fellowship, learn, study, connect and grow in our Christian walk.

The theme for this year’s conference was “Unity and Community”, building connection and growing and serving together as a Christian community in order to reach a lost world.

I wanted to try and summarize my hour-long lesson into a blog post for those who could not attend and also as a refresher for those who came. Unfortunately, the audio of the lesson didn’t work and as some have asked for it, I will do my best to formulate a very condensed version and hopefully not lose the context and content of what was said. You won’t be able to experience the visual object lessons, and the emotions expressed, the atmosphere of the room and the connection we felt, but I pray you will be encouraged as we all were with what we learned from our days together.

I will break the lesson up over a few days, so the bites are not so large, and you can take some time to chew them over.

 Grab a cup of tea, get rid of the distractions and settle in.

 

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt lonely? Everyone has felt loneliness at some point in their life and possibly even right now. Please know this. You are not alone in your loneliness.

We are more “connected” (online) than ever before, but studies have shown that we are lonelier than ever.

When was the last time you had a long, deep conversation, face to face, with a friend?

One of the key reasons for loneliness is that we give up too easily. Friendships take time.

Remember when friends were easy to come by as children? If they happened to live in the same neighbourhood, they instantly fell into the friend category. Proximity created friendship. It was as simple as knocking on the door and asking them to come out and play. We didn’t wait or hesitate or overthink. It’s a lot harder to navigate friendships as adults.  

I want to answer these 3 questions:

What? What’s the big deal about community?

Why? Why do we need each other? Why do we need community? Why is it important to God?

How? How do we find our people? How do we build community? What are some practical steps to building live-giving friendships?

So, what is community? In a nutshell it is this: a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society, sharing or having certain attitudes and interests in common. A unified body of individuals

Simply put, the Christian community is composed of those who love Jesus and fellowship with each other and serve one another.

If you don’t already know this, hear me now. We need each other. King Solomon puts it like this:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 KJV - Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

We have assigned this passage to romantic relationships. It does apply to marriage, but it was more than likely written in the context of friendship. Healthy, Godly community is supposed to be just as supportive as a healthy, Godly marriage.

Right from the beginning God designed us for connection. (Genesis 2:18). We were built for community. God is a community in himself. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, living in perfect harmony for all of eternity, past and present and future.

It’s God’s idea for us to live in community with others. He is a relational God who designed us in his image. Built within us is a pattern for experiencing intimate relationship with God and then expressing that love to others.

Relationships are one of the greatest gifts we have on this earth, but they are also one of the most difficult parts of being alive. Would you agree?

We need invested friends. People who have the potential to make us better. We need friendships that go beyond a Sunday morning greeting, a brief hug, a handshake and a comment about the weather. We need people who will hold us accountable and are devoted to growing in their spiritual walk and will encourage us in our walk. And we need to be that friend to others.

All too often, we don’t tell it like it is. We put on a brave face and lie about life. We want people to think we’re stronger than we are. But sadly, we’re only robbing ourselves.

God gave us the gift of community. We need to make use of it.

When we don’t share truthfully, we miss out on carrying each other’s burdens, but we also miss out on rejoicing with each other. (Romans 12:15)

There are a lot of reasons we go to church, but one of them is to build a thriving, loving, Godly community.

Building a community takes time and effort. It requires us to step out of our comfort zones, prioritize relationships, and be intentional with our time. Making time for it can feel like just one more thing to manage. But it’s so important. We are stronger together.

Building community and unity is not just about needing others, it’s about living the way God designed for us to live: TOGETHER!  Isolation may feel easier for the moment, but it’s not sustainable or fulfilling.

One of my favourite authors said this: “We spend hours alone in our crowded, noisy, screen-lit worlds, we invest only sporadic time with acquaintances, and then we expect close friends to somehow appear in our busy lives. We’ve replaced intrusive, real conversations with small talk and substituted soul-baring, deep, connected living with texts and a night out together occasionally.”

It’s sad that over the past few years especially, we have decided that we can exist on our own. We’ve replaced physically meeting with each other on a regular basis with online church and zoom calls and work from home and self-serve checkouts and online shopping etc.

When we try to navigate life on our own, we miss out on the joy God gives us in relationships. We were never meant to carry our burdens alone. We were never meant to celebrate our joys and successes alone. No matter how much you may think you can master it all on your own, and no matter how independent you are, you need others. And others need you!

Remember, investing in relationship and building community is not simply about pursuing our own happiness. It’s so we can be effective for eternity. It’s so that others will come to know Christ because of our love for them. Our love and connection speak volumes to a lonely world. (John 13:34,35)

Let me remind you though, that unity is NOT uniformity! It doesn’t mean dressing the same. Acting the same. Worshipping the same. Believing the same. Yes, we need to agree on the core doctrines of the Bible if we want to have true fellowship, but unity is not uniformity. One size doesn’t fit all.

Unity is about finding common ground and working together.

Uniformity is about forcing everyone to be the same.

Unity has to do with oneness. Being one in purpose. Being in harmony.

There are many passages in the Bible that mention “one mind”. Philippians 1:27; Philippians 2:2; 1 Peter 3:8 just to name a few. (Take some time to unpack the verse in 1 Peter and you’ll find some interesting gems in understanding what the words mean. Hint: harmonious; tender-hearted; compassionate; friendly; kind.)

Community and unity are related to fellowship. If you’d like to read more on the subject of fellowship as we find it hidden within a word in Hebrews 13:15,16, then go and check out my blog post via this link: Fellowship connection

Can I remind you that it is so important to be grounded in the life of a local church. It’s where discipleship takes place, compassion, friendship, encouragement, accountability, exhortation, prayer, mentoring, shepherding, teaching, discipline.

We belong together. We need each other. We are not perfect. We are a community of fallen and redeemed sinners who come together to do life together and to help each other in the name of Jesus. 

Let me give you an example of why we need each other and why who we connect ourselves to matters.

Mark 2:1-5 KJV - And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was in the house. And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door: and he preached the word unto them. And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four. And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay. When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.

Did you notice that it was the friends’ faith. NOT the sick man’s faith? You can’t tell me that your friends don’t matter! What kind of support system do you have? Are they there for you when you need them? Are you there for them when they need you? And what kind of faith do they have?

If you contrast this with the man found in John 5 who sat by the pool of Bethesda, hoping for a miracle, you’ll see that he had no man. He had no one. He had no community.

Are you getting the point that we need each other? Do you understand that it is important to God that we build strong friendships and authentic Godly communities with our fellow believers?

Christianity is not a faith that’s meant to be lived out alone.

In the next blog post, I want to give you some reasons in the form of 4 points as to why community is so important.

In the meantime, take some time to dig into the Word and look for yourself. How many times is unity mentioned? How often do we see the phrase one mind? Look for examples of God’s people supporting each other and working together.

God bless and see you soon xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you running too fast to hear him speak?

 

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Be still. What picture comes to mind when you read those two words? Be still.

Being still is something I have great difficulty in doing. I don’t have any trouble being busy, crowding my days with activities, running back and forth from task to task. But being still? Not so easy.

It’s so difficult to be still in such a restless world. It’s such a challenge to stop and be still in a world that calls us to busyness, that pulls us along in its current of always needing to ‘do’ something or ‘be’ someone.

For the past few weeks, I have felt like I’ve been pulled in a hundred different directions, and I feel like a dog chasing its tail. Running around in circles, not really accomplishing a whole lot except working up a sweat and panting in frustration.

Just today, as we gear up for a Ladies Conference in a couple of days, everything in me screams to keep busy, keep running, don’t stop, don’t rest.

But what does God call us to do in this verse in Psalms? To be still.

Yes, there is definitely a need to be busy and get things done, but there is also a need for stillness. For quietness. For solitude. For focused meditation on God and his Word.

The being still in this precious verse, has to do with surrender, letting go, forsaking and striving no more.

”The word used here - from  raphah - means properly to cast down; to let fall; to let hang down; then, to be relaxed, slackened, especially the hands: It is also employed in the sense of not making an effort; not putting forth exertion; and then would express the idea of leaving matters with God, or of being without anxiety about the issue.” Barnes.

So being still carries the idea of being quiet and easy, not fretful and impatient or restless, but resigned to the will of God. It doesn’t mean to be inactive and unconcerned, but quiet. A quietening of the heart.

It’s been hard these past few days to be calm and leave my cares and worries with God. The devil is very busy trying to thwart the plans of a time set aside for study, learning, connection and spiritual growth. But as one of God’s children, I need to make time for stillness.

To be still is a choice. And often it’s a hard choice. We are all carried along by the tides of busyness and we all have important things to do, but there is a time to just sit, and be still. And more importantly, to be still and know that God is God. To take time to tune out of the world and into God. To listen for that still small voice.

It’s so hard to hear God speak when we are letting the world scream in our ears. God speaks in the stillness. The devil screams in our busyness.

We find this phrase ‘be still’ in another place in the Bible that is worth mentioning.

Mark 4:39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still.  And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

The difference here though is that in the Greek, these words, be still, mean to be silent or be dumb. So, in essence, hush or shut up. The Lord told the waves and wind to shut up! And I think sometimes, we need to just shut up, be silent and listen.

We fill our lives with so much ‘doing’ and not a lot of ‘listening’. We dart from one task to the next, always on the move, never resting, never stopping to catch our breath. But God requires us to come into His presence and just be still. To quieten our minds and our bodies and listen to what He has for us.

I think of Mary and Martha and the ‘encumbrance’ of Martha in contrast to the ‘quietness’ of Mary as she sat at Jesus feet. Mary chose the one thing that was needful. And that was to sit and be still and listen to the Lord. (Luke 10:42)

Sometimes we are intimidated by silence. It forces us to address issues we might be running from. It makes us stop and think. It causes us to focus on other things. But silence can be a great healer. It can be a time of communion with the Lord and gleaning guidance and wisdom from Him, without the distraction of a noise-filled world.

This is something I have been learning to do over the past few years. Sitting in the silence and letting God speak to me. I am becoming comfortable with stillness. I have begun to crave moments of solitude and times to sit and let God’s peace wash over my soul.

It has been said that we have upwards of 50 000 thoughts a day! And a lot of those thoughts are not healthy. They are anxious or fearful thoughts. We have to tell our minds to be still. To hush. To shut up! But quieting the mind takes practice. And it takes God’s help. We have to renew our minds and be transformed. (Romans 12:2)

Every day is a struggle. A battle of sorts. To keep our minds focused on God while we go about our crazy and hectic days. A constant renewing of our minds. A conscious effort of quieting our hearts and letting God speak to us. Of listening in the stillness.

If I can just force myself to stop and take the time to be still and surrender my will to God’s perfect will and sit down in body and spirit and really focus in on what He has for me, I find that the ‘noise’ quiets for a time and I am able to learn more about God’s purposes for my life and I find precious promises in His word that help me as I go about my day.

Notice in this verse, it not only says, be still, but it also says, and know. Not just be still. But also know. We are to be still and know that He is God.

“And "know"; own and acknowledge that he is God, a sovereign Being that does whatsoever he pleases; that he is unchangeable in his nature, purposes, promises, and covenant; that he is omnipotent, able to help them and deliver them at the last extremity; that he is omniscient, knows their persons, cases, and troubles, and how and where to hide them till the storm is over; that he is the all wise God, and does all things after the counsel of his own will, and makes all things work together for good to them; and that he is faithful to his word and promise, and will not suffer them to be overpressed and bore down with troubles.” Gill

So, we are not just to be still, but we are to know who God is. We are to know where it is our help comes from and where our safety lies.  (Psalm 46:1)

Sometimes I think that our being still is more like a little child that is sitting down on the outside but standing up on the inside. They’ve been told to sit, but there is rebellion in their heart as they only outwardly obey.

We sit still, we ‘look’ like we are quietly spending time in prayer and study, but on the inside, we are anything but still. Our mind is distracted; we are not focused on the words in front of us or the prayer on our lips.

Being still is not just an outward appearance. It is a matter of the heart. It is an attitude of stillness. If we are not going to quiet our hearts and minds, we might as well keep running. God sees us through and through and He knows whether we are truly being still.

So, today, I would like to encourage you to take some time to sit still. Ask the Lord to give you time to rest. Ask him to give you a few moments of quiet.

Stop thinking about your to do lists, put down your phone, just for a moment. Sit before the Lord. Dwell on his holiness. Listen to his whispers to your heart. Ask for a heavenly perspective. Focus on his presence. Set your mind on things above. Take time to worship him.

If we want to hear God speak to us, we must sit still before him and read his Word. We need to take time to cry out to him, laying all our cares at his feet and let his peace flood our soul as we soak in his mercy and love and goodness, bringing the much-needed rest we crave. 

Matthew 11:28-30  Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

 

 

Frantic footsteps of a Forgiving Father

 Why did he run? 

Luke 15:20 KJV - And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

This has always been a very familiar story to me and one, although interesting, I didn’t give much thought to in regard to the Father’s actions. Yes, he was forgiving. Yes, he showed great compassion, but I didn’t realise the significance of what he did until only recently.

For those not so familiar, let me set the scene briefly.

In this well-known parable as we find it in Luke’s gospel, we are told the story of 3 lost things. A lost sheep. A lost coin and a lost son.

We read of a young man who asked his Father for his inheritance, before his Father’s death, so that he could go out into the world and live what he thought would be his best life. He then squandered all his money and lived recklessly and thoughtlessly, indulging in every pleasure under the sun.

But there came a day when all the money was spent, all the parties were over, all the friends were gone and he was brought to his lowest point, finding himself in the humiliating position of working as a hired hand feeding pigs. When he hit rock bottom, he made the decision to return to his Father’s house and ask forgiveness, hoping that he would be welcomed, if not as a son, at least as a servant.

And this is where the story gets very interesting.

I want to hone in on two little words in this passage. AND RAN.

Maybe these don’t seem very profound to you, but after thinking on this and doing some research, I have come to realize that these two little words hold great significance.

Let’s take a step back in time for a bit and put ourselves in the ancient Jewish culture.

Firstly, in case you think that this running was a casual jog, let me elaborate on this word ran.

This running does not mean a medium paced run. The Greek word used here for “ran” is the technical term used for the foot races in the stadium. It means race.

This same word is used many times in the New Testament. We see this same running/racing speed used when the women came to the tomb after Christ’s resurrection and found it empty. They ran to tell the disciples. And then again as Peter and John raced to the sepulchre. (John 20)

We also see it in 1 Corinthians 9:24 in the context of running a race in order to win a prize.

So, this is no casual jog around the park. This is a running, with haste, requiring the exertion of all one’s efforts in order to arrive at the desired place.

So, why is this so significant?

Step back in Middle Eastern culture and think about the sight of an older man, of high standing, a respected elder, the head of a wealthy household, running.

This action was very much against what a man in his position would do. In this culture, a man of his age would always walk slowly and in a dignified manner. They would NEVER, EVER run.

To run, a man of this day would have to take the long robe that he was wearing and tie it up above his knees. His legs would be exposed, bringing shame upon him, a humiliating posture for him to take.

I see in my mind’s eye, the Father, scanning the horizon, possibly at various times of the day, hoping and longing to see a silhouetted figure that resembled his son.

And then that day came, far off in the distance the figure of a man was sighted. Did the Father recognize him instantly? Did he recognize his familiar way of walking? Whatever the case, we are told, “But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran..”

With great joy, he saw his long, lost son and without thought of the shame it might bring upon him, he hitched up his robes, in a most unbecoming manner, sprinting through the dusty streets of the town, with members of the community watching this most embarrassing sight, he ran, undeterred, with haste and with all the urgency of a man passionate in his intent.

He ran. He raced.

But why did he run? Why not wait until his son was closer? Why race in such an undignified manner to meet him? Why not take the time to compose himself, prepare a speech, a lecture, or a welcoming party? Why not make his son walk the walk of shame through the streets and all the way to his family home?

To gain a better insight into why he ran, we have to look into a particular ceremony that was the custom in the Jewish culture of this period in History. This custom was known as the Kezazah ceremony.

The Kezazah was a ceremony that a Jewish village or community would perform in exactly this situation.

When someone had left home, rejecting the community’s principles and rules of inheritance, in wilful rebellion, bringing shame upon their family, upon their return, they would be subjected to the ritual of Kezazah.

This particular ceremony literally meant a “cutting off”. The villagers would meet the shamed, returning member, on the outskirts of the village, before they could make it back home, and they would take a large clay pot and break it in pieces at the feet of the individual, symbolizing that they were no longer part of their community. They were breaking all ties and basically letting them know they were no longer welcome because of the shame they had brought upon them all.

It was a very visual and public ritual.  By doing this, they were showing that they were breaking relations with him, shaming him, and making it very clear that he had forfeited his right to any path back home, and should expect no one to take him in.

So, why did the Father risk his good reputation by running to his son? To protect him from the Kezazah Ceremony!

He ran to get to his son before the rest of the community could get to him. He longed to spare him from Kezazah. He ran, yes, because he was filled with compassion and love for his son, but he ran to reach his son before the villagers could get to him, to literally save his life.

Instead of subjecting him to the utter shame of Kezazah, he wanted everyone to know that he had forgiven him and was welcoming him back home.

He ran to him and publicly embraced him and kissed him. In unimaginable grace he embraced and kissed his son, who still smelt like the pig pen he had arisen from, still wearing his rags of shame. This Father was not concerned at all about the shame of his running or the shame of his son’s prior actions.

And not only did he welcome him with a loving embrace, but he also prepared a feast for him!

Luke 15:22-24 KJV - But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

As if thwarting the Kezazah ceremony wasn’t enough, after showing the village that his son was forgiven, the Father then moved to restore him publicly through killing the fatted calf and probably inviting the entire village to attend a great feast in his son’s honour.  

I can see the villagers, clay pots unbroken held in their hands, possibly now behind their backs, shamefaced and left amazed and astounded at the actions of the Father. They watched as the Father and son walked by, arms around each other, tears flowing down their cheeks.

Did they feel guilty at all? Maybe some did, and maybe some were unrepentant, but we are told that whoever it was that came to the party that night began to be ‘merry’. So, there was rejoicing in the house that night!

What was dead, was now alive! What was lost, was now found!

What a beautiful end to a sad story. From the loss of a son, the mourning and hopeful longing for return of a wayward son to the joyful reunion of a son and his forgiving, compassionate Father.

And we, like the son are so undeserving of God’s amazing grace, and yet he extends it so willingly. He draws us close, despite the smell of the world upon our skin, despite the scars we bear. He forgives us and brings us into his house. We leave our shame at the door, we lay our heavy burdens down, and we sit at the feast God has prepared for us.

1 John 1:9 KJV - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.