The Dress Up Relay of Life

As I pushed and pulled and twisted and turned the heavy stack of pallets in the back of the truck, straining every muscle, feeling the sweat bead on my forehead, I began to think of the many roles I play as a wife.

Over the years, my roles have changed with each passing season. Newly married, life revolved around cooking and cleaning and setting up a beautiful haven for my new husband and I. Very soon, I began to prepare for the little one that would arrive before I had barely turned 20. Inexperienced, unknowing what the future held, unsure of my capabilities as a mother, a little overwhelmed, but confident, nonetheless.

The years flew by, more babies came, homeschooling became a daily way of life, in amongst the house cleaning, baking, sewing, teaching, ministry in the church and life in general. The days, months and years all seem to blend together carrying me along swiftly in their current.

I wanted to be the best helper to my husband that I could, and so I learned every skill I thought was necessary to express my love to him. I tried to work alongside him as much as possible. Learning from him. Loving him.

There were days where I helped sand boards to be made into furniture. Other days were spent holding a length of steel while averting my eyes from the flash of the welding sparks. Some days it was towing a trailer or doing a load to the tip. Sometimes it was just plain hard work in the garden, mowing, chopping firewood, carrying, lifting, shovelling sand etc.

We read the words “help meet” in the bible in Genesis 2:18

 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;

 I will make him an help meet for him.

I’m not going to go into the Hebrew meanings, but we have joined these two words together to come up with our own word that helps us get a better grasp on what it really means to be your husband’s helpmeet. His companion. His helper. His counterpart. The one that is fit for him.

Going back to my truck loading example, I began to think about the many hats I wear and have worn over the years. My role at this time of my life looks completely different to what it was when the girls were all at home and schooling and growing up into the beautiful young ladies they are today.

I could never have imagined this season of my life looking like this! I pictured myself, calmly sewing little dresses for my granddaughters, baking treats for my family, writing, developing my love for photography, playing the piano and just being home growing more and more ‘grandmotherly’ as time went by.

Well, you know those hats I mentioned? I have begun to realise that I don’t just wear many hats anymore. I wear the complete outfit! The hat, the jeans, the boots, the gloves, the flying cape, the jacket, the poncho, the stripey socks, the oversized work shirt etc etc. At times, I feel like I’m playing that childs relay game. You know the one? The dress up relay. The one where you have to put on layer after layer of clothing, hats, shoes etc and then you have to race to the other end. It’s quite a juggle and overwhelming at times. You run, you trip, you lose a shoe, your hat flies off in the breeze, you trip over your cape. But, you stop, you pick it all up, put it all back on again and race ahead.

Yes, my life looks a lot different than I expected it to look. You’ll often find me behind the wheel of a truck, out making deliveries, or racing around town in the ute offloading boxes at various businesses and homes. Hopping on and off the forklift, tying down pallets, loading trailers and so on.

But, you know what I’ve come to realise? If this is what being a helpmeet to my husband is, then I want it! And I don’t want to do it half-heartedly. No! I want to grab it with both hands and feet if need be and I want to run with it. Right alongside him. Being his encourager. His helper. His companion. His listener.

A helpmeet looks different to each and every woman. Every woman’s season of life is different. The circumstances she lives in are different. Her job description is going to play out differently than her friends. But whatever your ‘helpmeet’ role looks like, do it with your whole heart!

 Years ago, I wrote an article called “Western Woman”, where I talked about Noah’s wife and what she must have gone through in following her husband onto a boat, full of animals,  on dry land, with not a cloud in sight! That took some faith! And it also took the right attitude and heart of a good helpmeet.

Now, I am not saying all this to make myself look better. I have failed more times than I care to remember. I have complained. I have grumbled. But through it all, I’ve known that God gave me to my husband to be his helper. And although at times it may seem crazy to those looking on, it’s right where I want to be. Yes, I’d love to be sewing and playing the piano more, and I’ve had to learn to prioritize and manage my time wisely, but this is the season God has put me in and I need to live in this season. Right now. Right here. Not dreaming of a better or different future. But being content with my circumstances. God knows what’s best for us and he sees further than we can even imagine. Our ‘clock’ is so out of sync with his.

  

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We will only be truly happy if we are in the center of God’s will. And often, God’s will for us as women is not some great, awe-inspiring, attention grabbing role, but it is simply to fulfill our role as helpmeets to our husbands wherever that takes us and whatever it looks like.

At the end of my life, I don’t want to have regrets about my relationship with my husband. I don’t want to wish I had worked alongside him more, wished I had listened more, wish I had helped him more. No. I want to have been the best I could have been. I want to have been content where God had me. I want to have been my husband’s helpmeet. I don’t want to have spent my life looking around at other’s lives, being discontent with my own.

I want to have run the race with patience.

Hebrews 12:1-2  

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I want to encourage wives of all ages, seasons and circumstances, to be the best helper they can be to their husbands. To love them and work alongside them. The bible tells us that whatever we do, we should do it heartily, as to the Lord. So, be an enthusiastic, eager, excited, passionate and sincere help meet to your husband and God will bless you for it and it will bring glory to his name.

Colossians 3:23-24

 23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.