Choosing to Forget

Philippians 3:13-14

 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Just the other day, as I sat with a friend over coffee, we were discussing the difficulty in letting things go. Hurts and offences, anger and frustration over something that had happened in the past.

And as we chatted, my friend said something that made me stop and think.

“That’s why the rear-view mirror is so 

small and the windscreen is so big”

If we go through life continually peering into the rear-view mirror as we try to go forward, we’re not going to get very far before we crash. We have a huge windscreen in front of us to look through and only a small rear-view mirror, but why is it we often choose to strain our eyes looking into the little mirror that shows us what has gone on before and reminds us of past hurts, instead of opening our eyes wide, and scanning the horizon through the large window in front of us?

The verse in Philippians reminds us to forget the past and look towards the future. Paul’s focus was on forward momentum, not prior mistakes. We cannot move forward if our thoughts and our eyes are focused on the past.

Often times we let past offences sew seeds of bitterness in our hearts and this bitterness grows and matures until it has overwhelmed us.

We definitely need to make sure that we have dealt with things in the Biblical way and done everything we can to resolve any conflict before we move forward. Yes, we are only human, and we have a tendency to forgive but not forget. It’s hard not to relive those moments of pain. It’s hard to squash those thoughts as they well up inside us in times of weakness. But we have the Lord’s example of casting our sins into the depths of the sea.

Micah 7:18-19

 18 Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.

 19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.

The rear-view mirror grows larger and larger and the windscreen smaller and smaller as we choose to dwell on the past and pretty soon we find ourselves overturned in the ditch.

Proverbs 4:25

25 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.

This verse in Proverbs reminds us to look straight forward. We need to keep our eyes on the Lord and what he has for us. We don’t need to dwell on what he has already forgiven.

Ecclesiastes 3:6

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

There is a time to cast away. That time is now. If you have dealt with the hurt and offence the way the Lord would have you deal with it, then make an intentional, determined choice to let it go. Leave it with the Lord and Let. It. Go.

Our anger and bitterness need to go and we need to replace it with love, forgiveness and kindness.

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

The Lord Jesus is the best example. He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquities and yet he forgave. He forgave. He loved. He went forward to carry out God’s will.

Hebrews 12:2

 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

If you’re hurting today, if you’re finding it hard to forgive and forget, think about the road ahead. Remember that to move forward requires looking forward. If you are focused on the path that rises before you, and not the track that lies behind you, you will be able to steer a straight course. You will be able to become who the Lord wants you to be. You will be able to accomplish the will of the Lord.

Luke 9:62

  62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

The Dress Up Relay of Life

As I pushed and pulled and twisted and turned the heavy stack of pallets in the back of the truck, straining every muscle, feeling the sweat bead on my forehead, I began to think of the many roles I play as a wife.

Over the years, my roles have changed with each passing season. Newly married, life revolved around cooking and cleaning and setting up a beautiful haven for my new husband and I. Very soon, I began to prepare for the little one that would arrive before I had barely turned 20. Inexperienced, unknowing what the future held, unsure of my capabilities as a mother, a little overwhelmed, but confident, nonetheless.

The years flew by, more babies came, homeschooling became a daily way of life, in amongst the house cleaning, baking, sewing, teaching, ministry in the church and life in general. The days, months and years all seem to blend together carrying me along swiftly in their current.

I wanted to be the best helper to my husband that I could, and so I learned every skill I thought was necessary to express my love to him. I tried to work alongside him as much as possible. Learning from him. Loving him.

There were days where I helped sand boards to be made into furniture. Other days were spent holding a length of steel while averting my eyes from the flash of the welding sparks. Some days it was towing a trailer or doing a load to the tip. Sometimes it was just plain hard work in the garden, mowing, chopping firewood, carrying, lifting, shovelling sand etc.

We read the words “help meet” in the bible in Genesis 2:18

 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;

 I will make him an help meet for him.

I’m not going to go into the Hebrew meanings, but we have joined these two words together to come up with our own word that helps us get a better grasp on what it really means to be your husband’s helpmeet. His companion. His helper. His counterpart. The one that is fit for him.

Going back to my truck loading example, I began to think about the many hats I wear and have worn over the years. My role at this time of my life looks completely different to what it was when the girls were all at home and schooling and growing up into the beautiful young ladies they are today.

I could never have imagined this season of my life looking like this! I pictured myself, calmly sewing little dresses for my granddaughters, baking treats for my family, writing, developing my love for photography, playing the piano and just being home growing more and more ‘grandmotherly’ as time went by.

Well, you know those hats I mentioned? I have begun to realise that I don’t just wear many hats anymore. I wear the complete outfit! The hat, the jeans, the boots, the gloves, the flying cape, the jacket, the poncho, the stripey socks, the oversized work shirt etc etc. At times, I feel like I’m playing that childs relay game. You know the one? The dress up relay. The one where you have to put on layer after layer of clothing, hats, shoes etc and then you have to race to the other end. It’s quite a juggle and overwhelming at times. You run, you trip, you lose a shoe, your hat flies off in the breeze, you trip over your cape. But, you stop, you pick it all up, put it all back on again and race ahead.

Yes, my life looks a lot different than I expected it to look. You’ll often find me behind the wheel of a truck, out making deliveries, or racing around town in the ute offloading boxes at various businesses and homes. Hopping on and off the forklift, tying down pallets, loading trailers and so on.

But, you know what I’ve come to realise? If this is what being a helpmeet to my husband is, then I want it! And I don’t want to do it half-heartedly. No! I want to grab it with both hands and feet if need be and I want to run with it. Right alongside him. Being his encourager. His helper. His companion. His listener.

A helpmeet looks different to each and every woman. Every woman’s season of life is different. The circumstances she lives in are different. Her job description is going to play out differently than her friends. But whatever your ‘helpmeet’ role looks like, do it with your whole heart!

 Years ago, I wrote an article called “Western Woman”, where I talked about Noah’s wife and what she must have gone through in following her husband onto a boat, full of animals,  on dry land, with not a cloud in sight! That took some faith! And it also took the right attitude and heart of a good helpmeet.

Now, I am not saying all this to make myself look better. I have failed more times than I care to remember. I have complained. I have grumbled. But through it all, I’ve known that God gave me to my husband to be his helper. And although at times it may seem crazy to those looking on, it’s right where I want to be. Yes, I’d love to be sewing and playing the piano more, and I’ve had to learn to prioritize and manage my time wisely, but this is the season God has put me in and I need to live in this season. Right now. Right here. Not dreaming of a better or different future. But being content with my circumstances. God knows what’s best for us and he sees further than we can even imagine. Our ‘clock’ is so out of sync with his.

  

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We will only be truly happy if we are in the center of God’s will. And often, God’s will for us as women is not some great, awe-inspiring, attention grabbing role, but it is simply to fulfill our role as helpmeets to our husbands wherever that takes us and whatever it looks like.

At the end of my life, I don’t want to have regrets about my relationship with my husband. I don’t want to wish I had worked alongside him more, wished I had listened more, wish I had helped him more. No. I want to have been the best I could have been. I want to have been content where God had me. I want to have been my husband’s helpmeet. I don’t want to have spent my life looking around at other’s lives, being discontent with my own.

I want to have run the race with patience.

Hebrews 12:1-2  

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I want to encourage wives of all ages, seasons and circumstances, to be the best helper they can be to their husbands. To love them and work alongside them. The bible tells us that whatever we do, we should do it heartily, as to the Lord. So, be an enthusiastic, eager, excited, passionate and sincere help meet to your husband and God will bless you for it and it will bring glory to his name.

Colossians 3:23-24

 23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Changing My Tune

I’ve recently been studying Psalm 77 and picking through the treasures I have found.

Psalm 77:1-20

 [To the chief Musician, to Jeduthun, A Psalm of Asaph.]

1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.

 2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.

4 Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

5 I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.

6 I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.

 7 Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?

8 Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?

9 Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah.

10 And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

11 I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old.

12 I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

13 Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?

14 Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.

15 Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.

16 The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled.

17 The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad.

18 The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook.

19 Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known.

20 Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

We read of Asaph a few times in the Bible. Actually, there are three Asaphs mentioned in the Bible, but the one that we read of in Psalms was one of King David's musicians. He was a Levite and we find him first mentioned when the Ark of the Covenant was moved to Jerusalem from Obed-Edom in 1 Chronicles 16:1, 4-5

1 So they brought the ark of God, and set it in the midst of the tent that David had pitched for it: and they offered burnt sacrifices and peace offerings before God. ...

 4 And he appointed certain of the Levites to minister before the ark of the LORD, and to record, and to thank and praise the LORD God of Israel:

5 Asaph the chief, and next to him Zechariah, Jeiel, and Shemiramoth, and Jehiel, and Mattithiah, and Eliab, and Benaiah, and Obededom: and Jeiel with psalteries and with harps; but Asaph made a sound with cymbals;

1Ch 6:31-32, 39

31 And these are they whom David set over the service of song in the house of the LORD, after that the ark had rest.

32 And they ministered before the dwelling place of the tabernacle of the congregation with singing, until Solomon had built the house of the LORD in Jerusalem: and then they waited on their office according to their order. ...

39 And his brother Asaph, who stood on his right hand, even Asaph the son of Berachiah, the son of Shimea,

Asaph is known to be the author of 12 Psalms, and although they often touched a minor key, Asaph remembered the Lord and gave him the glory, rising from despair to praise.

He was a gifted man, otherwise why would King David put him in charge of the music before the Ark of the Covenant? He was gifted, yet he used his music and his talent to praise the Lord and communicate loudly and clearly, God’s Word to his people.

In this particular Psalm, Psalm 77, we see Asaph’s mind racing down a track of despair. Although we don't know exactly what is troubling Asaph, we read of his cry to God. Wearied of his heaviness of heart, until he rushes to the Lord with arms outstretched crying for mercy.

In verses 1 to 3, we see Asaph pleading with the Lord. In verses 4 to 9, we see him arguing with himself, but in verse 10 there is a pivotal moment. In this verse we see the whole Psalm turn.

10 And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

As Asaph’s mind was racing down a track of despair, he saw a track ahead that led to peace and he made a decision to follow that track. He made a choice. He was resolved. He chose to remember. It was an intentional choice.

Asaph realised that if God had been faithful in the past, as of course he had been, then he would be faithful in the present and in the future.

In verses 10 and 11, Asaph remembers. And in verse 12, he meditates and he talks.

We see three steps that would be good for us to keep in mind.

1 Remember

2 Meditate

3 Talk

Interestingly enough, in the first part of the Psalm, Asaph refers to himself 22 times and to God only 11 times. But in the second part of the Psalm, after verse 10, he refers to God 24 times, and to himself, only 3 times, those being the “I will” times. I will remember. I will remember. I will meditate.

Asaph’s sob of sorrow turned into a song of praise!

He remembered God’s works of old, then he chose to meditate on those things, and then he talked of them to others. Remember, that God’s blessings are not just for our own benefit. If we remember God’s goodness and we meditate on it, we should share it!

Did you notice the progression of his troubled soul from anguish to praise?

Verse 1. Firstly, he cried unto God.

1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me. ...

Verse 3. He remembered God.

3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah. ...

Verse 5. He considered.

5 I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. ...

Verse 10. He said. Resolve!

10 And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

How often do you or I need to ‘change our tune’? Are we continually singing in a minor key? Are we in a state of despair and discouragement? Do we find ourselves looking at things upside down? Half empty instead of half full. Is it time to change your tune?

Our song can change from minor to major. All it takes is a decision. An intentional choice to remember God’s works, to meditate on them, to talk of them. If all you have to remember is the day God saved your wretched soul, then sing about that! But, you and I both know, that God didn’t just stop the blessings when we gave our lives to him, no! He continues to shower his love and mercy on us every day. Stop right now and jot down some of God’s blessings to you from the past few hours. You know, even the sun shining down upon you is a blessing. Or the rain, if that be the case. Rain brings life, causing the seed to grow and giving us rainbows of promise across the sky!

G. Campbell Morgan said this,

“To brood upon sorrow is to be broken

 and disheartened, while to see God is to sing on the darkest day”

And as God’s children, we should be able to sing on the darkest day. Sometimes, I think we suffer from spiritual amnesia. We have a loss of spiritual memory of all the things God has done in our lives and we think we have nothing to sing about.

Lamentations 3:22-23

 22 It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Let’s learn a lesson from the musician, Asaph. Although we may start out singing in a minor key, there is no reason we have to stay there.

We can send out an SOS to God. We can choose to redirect our thoughts. And we can choose to praise the Lord! Taking our focus from inward to upward! There’s nothing like worshipping the Lord wholeheartedly to bring us up out of our pit of despair. Magnifying God has a way of diminishing our problems.

Force yourself to continually go over past blessings of God’s faithfulness, and your hope for the future will be strengthened.

“The troubled fountain will work itself clear again; and the recollection of former times of joyful experience often raises a hope, tending to relief” M. Henry